A Dream Deferred

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Welcome to those popping over from in(Courage)! I hope you’ll make yourself at home and stay awhile. Please introduce yourself! You can find me on Twitter and Facebook, e-mail me (link to the right), or just leave a comment!

Do you have a dream?
A Dream Deferred
I’m talking a big dream. A dream like a little boy wanting to be an astronaut or a little girl wanting to be a ballerina.

I do. I want to be a published author. And by published, I mean hold it in my hands a smell the goodness of a new book, published. (My English teacher friends are going to tell me I have to quite started my sentences with “and” to get published…)

I only recently claimed this dream. I’ve been writing academically for what feels like ages. I assumed when I finally finished school, I’d never want to write again. But I missed it. The writing. So I started this blog.

I recently participated in Jeff Goins’ 15 Habits of a Writer. One day, he challenged us to get up 2 hours earlier than normal and write. As I prepared for the challenge, I wondered what I would write about for two hours. I wanted to work on an eBook, something I could give away to my readers. Faithful as always, the Lord gave me an idea for that eBook. During those early mornings hours, I wrote out an outline and introduction. I also set the goal of having this eBook completed by October to take with me to Allume.

But here’s the rub. I just can’t do anything half way. I can’t just throw together an eBook. If I’m going to do it, my nature is that it must be done well and right. I needed time to think, process,  and research. So I began procrastinating and feeling guilty for avoiding this eBook.

Also, at this place in my life, I just don’t have that kind of time. I have a little one to chase, and my husband is currently studying for a major exam in addition to working a full time job. Since the morning of that challenge, I’ve written about 500 words on the eBook. I felt like a failure because I was not committed enough to make this eBook happen.

A Dream Deferred
By: Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
and then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
Like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load

Or does it explode?

I felt like my dream was sagging like the heavy load. Then, in God’s beautiful timing, I read this post by Jessica at Muthering Heights. Just the title itself (Be Relived: It’s Really Okay) made me take pause. Jessica eloquently reminds us that there is no shame if we are unable to chase wholeheartedly after our Big Dream right now.

There is a season for everything in life. What season is it now in your life? <——Tweet This!

And so I was reminded of a dream I had long before my dream of being an author. My dream of being a wife and mother. This is the dream I’m living right now. This is the season I am in, and it is good. I refuse to feel guilty for devoting my time to the precious blonde men in my life. The time will come all too soon that my little one will leave my nest, and then I will have plenty of time to chase my dream of becoming an author full force, God willing. A new season will come.

For now, I will write during naps and after bed time. Slowly, the eBook will come together. In God’s time, not mine.

I pray your dream (and mine too!) explodes, in a good way and in God’s timing!

What season of life are you in? Do you have dreams on hold for this season? How do you deal with that? 

What are your dreams? Please share in the comments!

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This post is linked with thanks to:

On Your Heart
Soli Deo Gloria
Hip Homeschool Moms
What I Learned This Week
Titus 2sdays
Teach Me Tuesday
Domestically Divine

alwaysalleluia.com

Photo Credit: Patrick Feller

Comments

  1. Well, I would say I share the same writing dream… Trusting God to open doors. I’ve never had time enough to write freelance as I’d like, only sporadically over the years I’ve been working and supporting myself. But one good side to losing a long time job is more time to write. Still, I’m pushed to get something to make money and once I do, what will happen to my writing time? It’s a constant conundrum in life I guess, but I believe God will open doors beyond either of our imagination in his perfect time and season! Blessings on your being wife and mom first right now, and on doors to open for your writing too! :) Pam, http://wordglow.wordpress.com

  2. Hi Mary Beth. I am stopping over from Kris’ “Encore” link up. I have a dream of writing, having my art published. I am almost finished with a 31-day devotional I did here on the blog. It’s exciting to think the words He gives me will perhaps have an opportunity to encourage more women. Blessings to you as you pursue your dream!

  3. Ahh, yes. The things I thought I’d be doing versus the things I am doing. How great the divide.

    Thanks for linking up at Kris’ place!

  4. Hi Mary Beth, thanks for this! I just went through The Intentional Blogger series and committed to writing an eBook too! Maybe there’s a way we can encourage one another and challenge each other at the same time:)

  5. Oh Mary Beth, this is beautiful. And I do believe you have chosen well. What a sweet telling of your story here. Your words bless me here. Keep your dream alive and well and how wise you are to look to His timing. It is not always easy is it. I wish I released my timetable over to His every time and always. May you find joy in your days with your “blonde men” and may your write your book one day too. GOD BLESS.

  6. Yes, mam. I am exactly smack in the middle of this exact sentiment. Are you in my brain?

    I took the same Jeff Goins’ challenge and had the same battle with anxiety over my results. He’s a great writer and had a lot of good stuff to say, but he’s also a full-time writer with one tiny baby. I’m a mom of four and I homeschool. I’m sure God never intended for me to be Jeff Goins. Right now, I’m praying for wisdom to skim the surface for my bits of helpful information and peace to walk away from the parts that aren’t for me in this season.

    Thanks for the reminder! With that being said, now it’s time to go play with all four of my blond babies!

    I can’t wait to square away nap time to read the post your referred to. It will happen today.

    • Oh I hope you got to go read Jessica’s post today during nap time!! :)

      I’m having to learn to take the bits that apply readily to my situation and move on. I am definitely not Jeff Goins either!

  7. Kacey @ Well-Rounded Home says:

    What a thoughtful and sweet post. I too have felt the burden of not being able to finish some of my big goals on the timeline that I’d set. Thank you for the reminder that while I may not have accomplished those goals, I am working at being the wife, mother and homemaker that I’ve always wanted to be. (By the way, I saw your post on Allume today.)

  8. Thanks for sharing this Mary Beth. There really is no greater call than being a wife and mama. To get to pour ourselves into the one we will spend the rest of our lives with, and into kiddos who will go on to be lights in the next generation…to leave a godly heritage. I share your dreams. And I find contentment in my role as wife and mom…then, in the pursuit of other dreams. Beautiful post!

    • You are right! We have to get them in the right order. Serving our family first, then pursuing our other dreams. Having a family really is a dream come true!

  9. This is something I have been wrestling with too… the dream of writing specifically and the dream of mothering, I too am living in the dream of mothering, and don’t have much time to consider writing books. Me and God are working through this one :) In fact, I am working on a series based on what God is teaching me about waiting… perhaps you will stop by?? And join the conversation?? (In a few weeks??)
    Stopping by from Allume. Blessings to you!!
    Amanda @ http://the-cadence.com

  10. Cross Moms says:

    Oh how your words rings so true. “In God’s time.” You have just spoken directly to my heart and some of my own challenges right now. I keep coming around to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else… and He will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33 Thank you for your words of encouragement, and for sharing on NOBH.
    Love and God Bless,
    Christy

  11. alwaysalleluia says:

    Thanks so much for this, Mary Beth. I am really glad you shared this with me, as you know I am dealing with this same thing right now. Obedience to God in this season will allow Him to better use us as the seasons change. There’s real peace in that, isn’t there? I am praying for all of us with dreams, that we’d learn to hold them loosly, as we hold tighter to Christ.

    • There is absolutely peace in that! And freedom too! We don’t have to do all the work trying to make dreams come true. Trusting and obey him daily–as the seasons come and go–and he will be faithful to fulfill the dreams He’s placed in our hearts! I look forward to watching what He does with yours!

  12. Michy loving our journey says:

    When God is ready, He’ll find you…and you’ll write the book. Sharing your writing here is helping us other mothers…that I believe is His calling for you as a writer now. I feel like I am living in a dream world right now, as a SAHM with my little boy….I’m in my dream and if I could stay in this moment forever with him at home toddling around, I would. I’m finally learning to be where God wants me to be!
    Wonderful piece!
    Blessings, Michy

  13. Kari @ Count His Blessings says:

    Yay, I finally had a few spare minutes in my crazy week to come to your blog. So thankful I did. I love your post. I know every wife and Mommy can understand a little of what you are saying. Season for everything… this is truth. I realized about two years what you are talking about in this post and prayed for it to stick… that I wouldn’t keep trying to live in another season, but embracing the one I am in. It has changed me. Counting my gifts, my graces has been a very “real” way to live for right now, what God is giving me in this moment. I don’t know if you have read One Thousand Gifts, but i think you will love it if not. It has helped my marriage tremdously and my relationship with my kiddos.
    So glad I came by and I look forward to browsing so more. Blessings!

    • I’m so glad you were able to stop by. I haven’t read 1000 gifts but have heard lots of good things about it. I will have to find a copy!
      Mary Beth

  14. This is great Mary Beth! I love that you put it as a dream deferred! It is still a dream and it is still alive. Just like the tortoise and the hare…slow and steady wins the race! Enjoy being a wife and a mama…they are WAY more important than an ebook. ;)

  15. Rebekah Pickens says:

    How like God to have this post in my inbox waiting for me this morning. I was just talking to the LORD about what to do with my deferred hopes. While some are on hold I have a new dream that has come up for me to pursue until He moves me elsewhere.

  16. The Periwinkle Pixies says:

    I really needed this article!!! Thanks so much! I have a lot of big dreams too, an author is one as well, among others; but it is inspiring to hear from someone else that there is a time and place and season for everything. Right now is my season to be a mother and wife. It is a tricky thing to always keep in mind, when all I feel I do is laundry and diaper changing. Still a mom and wife was my dream too and now that I have it, I need to enjoy it! :) I just need to be patient and in God’s time, all things will come!

    Thanks again very much! You have a new reader and subscriber! :)
    Jacinda

    • I’m with you! It’s so hard to see diapers and laundry as living the dream! But I remember the ache to have a baby and a family, and I am so thankful for where I am. I know it will pass all too quickly!

      So glad to have you on board!
      Mary Beth

  17. TereasaM says:

    Mary Beth, you have made a wise choice. I know it is hard, because I once made the same decision. I was a young mom already becoming known as a public speaker in the area. I even traveled to the States to speak. I set up an office in my son’s bedroom to write a book. I was on my way. Then life happened. A lot of life happened, including two adoptions and fibromyalgia. I have only had two speaking engagements in over six years. Looking back, I can’t believe anyone wanted me to speak back then. I received repeat invitations, so they must have liked me. God has brought me through so much now and I have so much more to say. I am thankful for the dry spell. It was a wilderness experience and now I’m ready for the Promised Land. Your time will come and when it does, you’ll be ready. For now, you are doing an awesome job on this blog!

  18. simplyhelpinghim says:

    Yet another reason we get along so well! Someday I would love the be a published author as well! As you stated, now is not the time. One day it will come, my season for now is my kiddos and hubby. The peace and quiet to write in will come! For now I’m thankful for the days I have! I’d love to review your eBook whenever you get it finished ;) Blessings friend!

  19. My dreams change as my life changes! I’m a momma and a wife first – and then my dreaming comes second, and I am totally 100% okay with that :) This season of my life will be short, and I want to enjoy every single moment of it!

Trackbacks

  1. […] dream of consistently writing in this space in addition to writing eBooks and hopefully traditional books and ministering to others through the written […]

  2. […] to trigger, unlock and unleash the genius within. It is the perfect time to get back to those deferred dreams that you’ve been putting off because you had other obligations, such as caring for your children, […]

  3. […] a month ago, I wrote about realizing that I simply didn’t have the time to write an entire eBook in three and a half months before […]

  4. […] have dreams of my own you know. Dreams that go beyond mommyhood and wifeyhood (is that a word?) and […]

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