Five Minute Friday: Race

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Facebook once was a death trap for me. A trap of comparison. The pictures, the updates. Just more ways for me to see what they had that I did not or more ways for me to build myself up saying “at least I’m better off then them.”

I guess I thought it was some sort of race. Who can get a husband first? Who can get the most degrees? Whose kid learns to walk earliest?

But now I look back, and wonder…what was I rushing towards? What was I racing for?

When I stop and look around me. At my real life instead of the Facebook news stream, I see nothing but blessings.

I have an adoring husband who loves me despite my many flaws. The absolute most adorable son (who just snuggled with me in bed for about 10 minutes tonight, in the dark, when mommy needed some chill time). My family even the in-laws are amazing. I have a beautiful home. Life is SO good.

These days, I don’t do much Facebook news stream reading. I might miss out on the latest expectant mama or who’s engaged to whom. But I’m busy living my life. Sure, I’ll post a pic when Thomas does something amazingly cute…who can resist that?

My Facebook time is spent building relationships in private groups with real people. Investing in each other through prayer and conversation. There really is a better Facebook out there past the race of the comparison game.

Times up. That was totally all over the place. I’m tired.

This post is linked with thanks to:

Company Girl Coffee
Favorite Things Friday
Weekend Whatever
Faith Filled Friday
Just for Fun Friday
Homemaking Link-Up

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http://crystalstine.blogspot.com/ Crystal

I’ve seen the amazing side of social media & what God can do through it and I’ve seen the ugly side. I’ve been there. So thankful to have found this FMF group, (in)courage, Allume and our (in)couragers group to remind me that it can be a good, supportive, place where we don’t have to try to beat each other. (though I did laugh when I saw you were the first to link up! get it girl!)
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  I really don’t try!! I just literally write for 5 minutes, hit publish, then link up! Eesh. I’m gonna go really slow next week!
http://www.newequus.wordpress.com/ Mindy @ New Equus

It really wasn’t all over the place Mary Beth…so you must be really tired! And that’s what this is all about. Blessings!
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Thanks Mindy! I was tired!!
JulieJordanScott2

I think I must have turned off the competitor in me very early.I’m grateful to read you have managed to tame her as well. You sound like you lead such a blessed, incredible life. :~) Happy Five Minute Friday – I look forward to reading you again!
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Thank you! You are welcome back anytime Julie!
soulstops

Wise words, Mary Beth…comparison is a zero sum game…wishing you a blessed weekend with your family
http://twitter.com/JenniMullinix Jenni Mullinix

We ARE truly blessed…. I was reminded of that today as well.
http://writingcanvas.wordpress.com/ Loni

So appreciate your sharing and even with someone who has been married 27 years, it can be a comparison for me as well – what husband did what for their anniversary, etc. It’s so easy to compare in real life or online. And God asks us to be content in any situation we are in! It’s work! Appreciate your honesty and sharing!
http://www.facebook.com/karenbethcourcy Karen Deschenes Courcy

I love your honesty and openess… we sometimes get caught up in everyone else’s blessings that we almost can’t see ours.. but if we all look deep within, we all have our blessings that god gave us
Thank you for sharing your truth
Paula Barnett

So good knowing that we are all made of the same stuff! We are all expressions of God. No one is better or lesser than I am. No race. No disgrace. Only Grace found within God.
Denise Oldham

Appreciate your honesty.
http://alwaysalleluia.com/ Kris Camealy

I appreicate this, Mary Beth. I’ve also been doing less stream reading/facebooking. I know the feeling of missing out on that stuff, but really, the connections I can make in real life, face to face, I treasure those SO much more….speaking of which, I can not wait to *meet* you in person at Allume. Oh my. It’s going to be awesome.
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  I know! Once we meet in person, I’m gonna start calling you my “in real life” friend!
http://www.tanyamarlow.com/ Tanya Marlow

Facebook (and Twitter, and the competing for the retweets) can be an annoying place from this point of view… You’re right.

It wasn’t all over the place.. but i caught your tiredness anyway. I hope you get some good encouragement this weekend, and some fun times with family. Sending you much love. xx
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Thank you Tanya! It looks like it’s going to be a buys one…community block party tonight and a ballgame tomorrow. Thanks for your encouragement!
MomLaurM

I love how the use of facebook and twitter has changed for me. It used to be a time sucker, comparison trap, just as you have said! But now it is used for encouragement, love, spurring each other on. God can do anything with anyone who is willing!!!
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  So true! God can even make good use of FB and Twitter!
http://www.creeksideministries.blogspot.com/ Linda Stoll

‘what was I rushing towards? What was I racing for?’
I absolutely love these 2 questions. thank you.
http://www.favored-one.blogspot.com/ Tobi Benton

I’m so glad you spoke to using fb for relationship building. I rarely read the streams because I know there is not of me to invest in hundreds of people. I comment here and there, when something catches my eye, but I’ve been content to grow in the small groups I’ve become part of. It’s been a very slow opening of the bud, and I feel so behind in even knowing what I’m doing, but this community is so filled with grace that I don’t wrestle with comparing myself to anyone. You spoke quite concisely even if you did feel “all over the place.” Thanks for this Mary Beth!
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  I have found that to be true for me as well. In all of my “groups” on FB, I am not drawn towards comparison. Just loving each other.
Ro elliott

Oh the whole social media things can feed that green monster of envy. Why are we racing against each other…I long to race with each other…cheering one another on. I am pretty new to the social media world…I have been blogging for just a little over a year and I just got a FB…not tweeter…instagram…I am kind of slow with these things:)
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Such a better perspective…racing together, cheering each other on! Thanks for that!
  
  I swore I wasn’t gonna do Instagram or Pinterest but couldn’t resist. I don’t spend much time on them though.
http://simplystriving.wordpress.com/ Nikki

I love that you don’t require any pacing and thinking and can still write like that while being droopy! I would love you even if you couldn’t….but the fact that you can…..
And we are so kindred it’s not even funny…
which is why I’m so thrilled to be on the side of social media that encourages each other along the way, it doesn’t compete. we’re in this race together. let’s all run it well!
Hugs to you — enjoy your weekend!!
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  It’s only because I wanna get in bed as quickly as possible! I do love to see what comes spilling out when I see the word.
  
  I love how many of the commenters have noted that we are in the race together…to cheer each other on! I love that!
Becky Daye

Oh, yes- facebook can be a trap for comparison, but who wants to run that race? Not me! I too am so thankful for the encouraging side that it offers.
http://twitter.com/elevateideas Monica Steely

Love this: “But I’m busy living my life.” Yes, beautiful, exactly what I need to keep remembering!
Lori

I’ve felt exactly the same way! I ended up deleting a number of people and I don’t even go on much anymore, except to check on my 15yr old daughter. You nailed it – it’s a comparison game…
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  I purged my friend list when I had my son. If I hadn’t talked to you within a year or graduated with you, you got nixed. Now I’m selective about “who makes the cut”!
http://dailyrefined.blogspot.com/ Leigh Kay

Not at all. Not all over the place. Perfectly in place. I followed completely! Wonderful words Mary Beth! As usual, I had a great time partying last night with you ladies. You always brighten my day. Thank you for that.
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Oh I so enjoyed chatting with you too! It gets so crazy, I try to just zero in on a couple people, so I can keep up!
Wendy

What a great reminder to look away from comparison to the blessings around us. Love your heart friend. Blessings.
Elizabeth

Such an honest write, and I think we all know that slippery slope of comparison and running a race against or to or from, who knows what. Thanks friend for such an authentic word. May we all find peace in the present and joy in what he graciously gives.
http://www.servingjoyfully.com/ Crystal

Great post…but I had to laugh at your last line (after “time’s up) because that’s how I felt as well! lol
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Oh girl, I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow!
http://www.amylearns.com/ Amy Tilson

Not all over the place at all, but i do bet you were tired. Great as always. Nobody wins that comparison game; someone’s grass is always greener. And you, my friend are on the bright side of the social media cloud!!
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  I’m so glad to be on the bright side! You are right, no one ever wins!
http://www.differentparent.com/ Wick Anderson

Good words. I released Facebook earlier this year, and only use it for my ministry page now. It’s been great to get the time back. Some people can use it in healthy ways…wasn’t working for me. Still working on remembering how to purposefully stay in touch with those I care about.
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  It was hard for me to know when it would be healthy and when it wouldn’t. I guess because I never knew when something would pop up that was sensitive for me at the moment. Now I’m very selective about friends and just don’t read the New Feed much.
http://hissongtomeshalom.blogspot.com/ Mandy

Some very good points! I enjoyed reading this:) Another real life blessing: meeting some amazing women in less than 2 weeks;)
- http://newlifesteward.com/ Mary Beth
  
  Ain’t that the truth!!!
http://www.triplebraidedlife.com/ Brenda @TripleBraided

MaryBeth, I totally have a love/hate relationship with Facebook! Now I wish I could just work out of my blog page and groups and not my “main page”. It makes me irritated, sad, angry, or remembering the past too much when I spend too much time reading about people mainly in my past. Wonderful post!!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1103139415 Lorretta Stembridge

I had to stop off and see WHO in the world could manage to post first! I finally made it in by number 230….couldn’t sit and write and post at the same time! I feel your Facebook pain. There are days I just want to shut it down all together and then someone connects with something I posted and I think…OK, maybe a little while longer. But I definitely need to get better at time management which often suffers in the clutches of Facebook. Great job here!

Lorretta at Dancing on the Dash
http://www.dancingonthedash@wordpress.com
mamalady

I think that we turn just about anything into a comparison trap, but especially social media like Facebook and Pinterest. I love your deliberate decision to gently pull yourself away to protect yourself. Those face to face relationships are priceless! Jamie @ One Blessed Lady