I Never Wanted to Be a Mother {A Guest Post}

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motherhoodbuttonI’m happy to welcome Desiree as a guest poster for the When Motherhood Comes Softly series. You can read more by her at her blog The Suburban Kelleys. You can read more from this series by clicking the button to the left. We hope you are encouraged as you read about other woman as they struggle to grow into the role of mother by trusting in God day by day. If you would like to submit a post for this series, please read the introduction to this series and guest post submission guidelines. I look forward to reading your story!


When Motherhood Comes Softly

I never wanted to be a mom.  I was not the type of little girl that talked about getting married, having the white picket fence, and lots of kids.  I never said I wanted someone to dress up in frilly dresses or button down shirts and khakis.

In fact, I said I NEVER wanted kids.  I thought kids were annoying and I didn’t want that kind of responsibility.  I wanted to perform in musical theater and travel with my husband.  I didn’t want to stress over finances.

I had many medical problems with my female anatomy.  After a surgery to re-position my uterus that nearly took my life in September 2002, I didn’t know if I’d even be able to have kids.  But that was okay because I still didn’t want them. 

I remember the day so clearly.  I could hear the voice so audibly.  It was New Year’s Day, 2003.  A Baby Story marathon was on T.V.  Why was I so obsessed with watching that show ALL DAY LONG?  Then I heard Him.  I heard God’s voice.  For me, hearing from God is not like hearing from just anybody.  It was an overwhelming feeling.  It was like a light bulb being turned on in my head.  It was such a clear answer that I could not possibly deny not knowing the question that I never asked.

It was time to start a family.   

Craig always wanted two children and knew how I felt about it.  He married me anyways.

When I told Craig how God spoke to me, shock could not even explain the look on his face.  After meeting with my doctor, who told me I should have no problem getting pregnant despite my medical history, we knew it wouldn’t be long until we conceived.

Three months later, I was pregnant.  God works fast.

December 2003, only 11 months after hearing God’s voice, a beautiful 7 lb. girl came into our lives.  She was born 9 days after her father’s birthday and 10 days before our anniversary/Christmas.  She was the best gift we could ask for.

And I fell in love.

I was so happy with my only princess that I didn’t even want to think about having another child.  It was a miracle that I had her and my uterus was still doing well after my previous surgery.

But I heard the voice again.  It was August 2005.  We started to try for a second child, thinking it would be nice if our kids were about 2 or 2 1/2 years apart in age.

Two months later, I was pregnant again.  My handsome blue-eyed, 9 lb. boy was born June 2006, on Father’s Day, almost 2 1/2 years exactly after our daughter was born.

Then, my uterus fell back to its previous position, which had caused me many problems before.  I knew God kept me healthy just long enough to have the 2 kids that I was always destined to have.  I had a hysterectomy in August 2009, at the age of 28.  But I was at peace with the decision after lots of prayer.  We knew our family was complete with just the four of us. It was time for me to start living fully and not always being weighed down with constant medical problems.

Motherhood has changed me and molded me in ways I could never imagine.  I am much more emotional, I like things extremely organized and planned, I’m very protective of my kids, and I don’t do anything without thinking of how it will affect my family.

I still perform in musical theater.  Our family is taking two trips this year.  We have no debt except one car payment and our mortgage.  And I love being responsible for these two little lives.

Thank you, God, for trusting me to raise these children.
 Thank you for keeping them healthy, well fed, and protected.
 Thank you for these two beautiful creations that have changed me for the better.
 Thank you, God, for making me a mother.

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My name is Desiree Kelley and I am a part-time preschool music teacher and full-time wife and mommy. My husband is very encouraging, even when my projects don’t turn out the best. My two children are my best creations. I am constantly trying new crafts, new recipes, and waiting for the next inspiration to come along. I have a very full, blessed life–and I can’t live without coffee and chocolate.

Linked with thanks at:
Miscellany Monday
Hear it, Use It
Playdates with God
Multitudes on Monday
The Better Mom
On, In, and Around Mondays


  1. Reading this gave me goosebumps, what an awesome testimony of how God works! Thank you so much for sharing! It truly was so inspirational!


  2. TereasaM says:

    What a beautiful story! I am so glad you heard the call and obeyed. I know you are blessed by those two cuties! Thanks for sharing.

  3. Laurain Montana says:

    Mary Beth,
    I did not have maternal instincts before our children were born. My husband were married eight years before Lydia was born. It wasn’t in our plan, but it was in His! Even during my pregnancy, I didn’t know if I would love my baby as much as I loved our two dogs. What do you know? I did! I remember sobbing over my beautiful little girl as I held her once we were alone in my room. Love her more than my dogs? Good grief, I would have given my life for her immediately after meeting her! So glad to have met you. Having children was the best thing my husband and I have done. God knows what we need and when we need it, doesn’t He?

    • He does indeed!! You are not the only person who has had the dogs/new baby concern! So glad to have you here!
      Mary Beth

  4. What a beautiful story! Isn’t it amazing how God works? Thank you for sharing! Blessings!

  5. ThandiweW says:

    “God works fast.” I laughed when I read that, because it is so very true. What a beautiful testimony in obedience. We think we know what we want, but His plans are better.
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    Peace and good.

  6. Christina@toshowthemjesus.com says:

    What a wonderful story of how God works in our heart and life. You have beautiful children!

  7. What a beautiful story Desiree! I love how God sort of “laughs” at our plans and then hands us something much better than we could have imagined for ourselves! :)

  8. JosephPote says:

    God’s plans and timing are perfect, aren’t they?
    Thankful for the healthy family with which God has blessed you!
    Thanks for sharing!

  9. Alicia Bruxvoort says:

    Love how God knows our heart’s desires even when we don’t :) So fun to meet you today, Desiree!

  10. I love how God changes our desires to match His when we seek to follow Him.
    Thank you for sharing your story!

  11. hablondi says:

    Great post. I didn’t want to be a mother either. The thought of being pregnant and giving birth would make me hyperventilate. The thought of always being responsible for another human being was more than I could imagine. That is until I met the man who would become my husband. God did a work in my heart and I knew that I wanted to have children with this man. We have three little girls now. They are all three miracle preemie babies. I can’t have anymore and know that this is the family God planned for us and am so thankful for it. Bless you for listening to God and being obedient! Just think of what we could have missed! http://www.heatherablondi.com

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