Squashing Fears and Lies and the WIP Wednesday Link-Up

I’ve told you before that one of my greatest desires in life is to be a mother. It seems only natural to follow that some of my greatest fears in life center around becoming a mother. For as long as I can remember, I have feared infertility and miscarriage. My mother struggled for years to have my brother and me. Growing up, it seemed like every few months another member of my family or someone close to us miscarried.

While these fears are pretty significant in and of themselves, underneath these fears there were some lies feeding them.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up the lie that because I wanted to be a mother so much, God was going to withhold it from me. I know that makes absolutely no sense. God actually put that desire for motherhood in my heart–He wants to fulfill it. However, I began to believe this lie, and so I continued to fear that God would intentionally make becoming a mother difficult or impossible for me.

Another lie I believed is one I’ve struggled with in many different areas of my life. You see, deep down, I think I feared that if God withheld motherhood from me, then I wouldn’t be strong enough in my faith to continue serving and loving Him. It’s as if that would be the one thing that would hold me back from wholehearted service. That lie stems from the belief that somehow I muster up my own faith in God or service towards Him–that it’s a work of my own hands.

Both of these lies are subtle and snuck up on me. I didn’t really realize they were lies until recently. When we decided to try for a second child, the fears of infertility reappeared even though I’d already conceived a child. Once I knew I was pregnant, the fear of miscarriage took root and still lurks in the back of my mind. Every twinge of pain or odd feeling sends me into a tailspin of thoughts.

God is going to take this baby away from me because I want him/her too much.

I need to work harder at trusting God and believing Him so I won’t lose this baby.

Lies. All lies. The truth is that infertility and miscarriage are products of the Fall. God designed a woman’s body to conceive and give birth to children–to be fruitful and multiply. However, because of the Fall, our bodies don’t always work as they should. God doesn’t use infertility and miscarriage as a punishment or “lesson”. However, because He is a gracious and redeeming God, He can take these difficult situations and turn them into something beautiful–like adoption.

Another truth: I don’t have to fear “losing my faith in God” because of infertility or miscarriage or any other difficult life circumstance–either brought on as a result of my sin or just a terrible result of the Fall. Why? Because my faith isn’t something I muster up on my own. God gives and supplies my faith–all that I need (Rom. 12:3).

The other night in church, I was battling these fears and we began to sing this song:

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Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me.

On and on and on and on it goes.

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul.

I never ever have to be afraid.

This one thing remains.

Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on my.

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God’s love does not fail. I am held securely by His hand and no life circumstance can change that. He will pursue me and draw me to Himself and provide all the faith I need for every circumstance. I don’t have to do a thing.

His perfect love casts out all my fears and puts the lies to death.<—Click to Tweet!

How have you dealt with fears and lies in the past?

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  • Gertrude Nonterah

    Oh Mary Beth ! I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with these intense fears and I am glad that you allowed yourself to be reminded of the truth that lies in God’s Word. Yes indeed, miscarriages are NEVER from God but He can turn beautiful stories out of them. I just love that about the Lord !

    During a very difficult season in my life these Scriptures gave me the “umph” to keep going.

    When you pass through the waters,I will be with you;
    and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
    When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
    For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; – Isaiah 43:2-3
    Have a very beautiful day Mary Beth !

  • Christina

    Mary Beth, thanks for sharing your heart here. There are so many lies that feed my many fears. Thanks for this reminder that its not about us but about Him. I too often think that blessings only come if I am good and that good things are taken when I’m not. But the Bible says otherwise. Thanks for this!

  • http://www.barefoothippiegirl.com/ Barefoot Hippie Girl

    I really can’t add much more to what the others have said, but I am so sorry you have faced these fears, and so thankful that God met you in them. Keep trusting.=)

  • http://twitter.com/Weakandloved Emily Cook

    Another truth: I don’t have to fear “losing my faith in God” because of infertility or miscarriage or any other difficult life circumstance–either brought on as a result of my sin or just a terrible result of the Fall. Why? Because my faith isn’t something I muster up on my own. God gives and supplies my faith–all that I need.

    YES. Preach it, sister.
    THIS is our peace- that faith is a gift, and everything is a gift, and HE IS a generous giver who has promised us that he will be faithful to us.

    His hand is on you, even when your hands are too shaky to hold his.

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  • TereasaM

    Oh sweetie, I have heard that lie. The one that tells me if I want something too much, God will take it away. While it is true that God should be enough, it is even more true that God is merciful and patient. Love you, honey!

  • http://www.tanyamarlow.com/ Tanya Marlow

    I do this too – I assume that God will withhold, and punish. I try and outsmart him or bribe Him. Where does this come from, I wonder?
    Thank you so much for talking about it, and I was nodding and saying a hearty amen to all those good things you were preaching to yourself. Our life is hidden in Christ in God.

    And CONGRATULATIONS!!i am so thrilled for you – so thrilled :-)

  • http://twitter.com/adelightfulglow deborah flora

    I’ve bought into the same type of lie. Not necessarily about children, but in feeling like something will probably be taken from me because I enjoy it so much. Satan is so subtle with his lies and deceit. And he doesn’t care how he gets us offtrack, just so he does derail us.

    God loves us so much. More than we can even love our own children. We know this, but we forget so easily.

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  • messymarriage

    I love that song! And recognizing these lies, along with lifting beautiful worship to Him, will truly “squash” your fears, Mary Beth. Thanks for sharing a deep and vulnerable fear. It’s something we all can resonate with in one way or another. My prayers are with you!

  • JosephPote

    Thank you, Mary Beth, for talking about these lies that sneek in unnoticed. It takes a good measure of God’s grace to even learn to recognize them.

    I can so relate to this one: “I need to work harder at trusting God and believing Him so I won’t lose this baby.”
    I’m a dad, not a mom, but this is exactly the sort of fear I battled for years in regard to my first marriage. That I had to work harder at trusting God…I had to pray more fervently…I had to fast longer…I had to believe more deeply…so the marriage wouldn’t fail.
    God had an intersting way of leading me past those fears. The marriage did fail and did end in divorce. There were very difficult custody battles…all the things a spouse and parent fear when contemplating the devastation of divorce…they all happened.
    And you know what? God remained faithful thru it all!
    “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” “If God be for us, who can stand against us?”
    Thanks for sharing!

  • http://simplystriving.wordpress.com/ Nikki

    Amen, friend.
    and ya know…even when the circumstances are reversed, the lies are still the same…
    It seems no matter what presents itself in this journey I’m on, one thing remains steadfast:
    God is good. All the time. No matter what. He’s got me. I’m His…
    some days, that’s the only thing I allow myself to believe.

    Hugs to you, friend! You shine so bright…

  • soulstops

    Thank you, Mary Beth, for shining the truth on His love and exposing the lies…You bless :)

  • Sherri

    I’m walking the walk of fear myself and trying hard to shake it. Blessing on you and yours.

  • http://susanstilwell.com/ Susan Rinehart Stilwell

    Amen, Mary Beth. Love this line: “faith isn’t something I muster up on my own. God gives and supplies”

  • http://www.differentparent.com/ Wick Anderson

    I’ve had similar thoughts, of “surely something horrible will happen, because things are going so well…and we have been given such love to handle tragedy….etc.” Thankfully God doesn’t follow my silly thoughts. He continues to be present…and wants good for His children. :)

  • http://www.triplebraidedlife.com/ Brenda @TripleBraided

    Mary Beth, this is a great post. I can so relate to the lie that I must have done something wrong if something’s not working out the way I want it to or thought it would. I’ve come to realize that it is a form of pride for me to think that I am in control of every aspect of my life. :-)