I’ve told you before that one of my greatest desires in life is to be a mother. It seems only natural to follow that some of my greatest fears in life center around becoming a mother. For as long as I can remember, I have feared infertility and miscarriage. My mother struggled for years to have my brother and me. Growing up, it seemed like every few months another member of my family or someone close to us miscarried.
While these fears are pretty significant in and of themselves, underneath these fears there were some lies feeding them.
Somewhere along the way, I picked up the lie that because I wanted to be a mother so much, God was going to withhold it from me. I know that makes absolutely no sense. God actually put that desire for motherhood in my heart–He wants to fulfill it. However, I began to believe this lie, and so I continued to fear that God would intentionally make becoming a mother difficult or impossible for me.
Another lie I believed is one I’ve struggled with in many different areas of my life. You see, deep down, I think I feared that if God withheld motherhood from me, then I wouldn’t be strong enough in my faith to continue serving and loving Him. It’s as if that would be the one thing that would hold me back from wholehearted service. That lie stems from the belief that somehow I muster up my own faith in God or service towards Him–that it’s a work of my own hands.
Both of these lies are subtle and snuck up on me. I didn’t really realize they were lies until recently. When we decided to try for a second child, the fears of infertility reappeared even though I’d already conceived a child. Once I knew I was pregnant, the fear of miscarriage took root and still lurks in the back of my mind. Every twinge of pain or odd feeling sends me into a tailspin of thoughts.
God is going to take this baby away from me because I want him/her too much.
I need to work harder at trusting God and believing Him so I won’t lose this baby.
Lies. All lies. The truth is that infertility and miscarriage are products of the Fall. God designed a woman’s body to conceive and give birth to children–to be fruitful and multiply. However, because of the Fall, our bodies don’t always work as they should. God doesn’t use infertility and miscarriage as a punishment or “lesson”. However, because He is a gracious and redeeming God, He can take these difficult situations and turn them into something beautiful–like adoption.
Another truth: I don’t have to fear “losing my faith in God” because of infertility or miscarriage or any other difficult life circumstance–either brought on as a result of my sin or just a terrible result of the Fall. Why? Because my faith isn’t something I muster up on my own. God gives and supplies my faith–all that I need (Rom. 12:3).
The other night in church, I was battling these fears and we began to sing this song:
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Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me.
On and on and on and on it goes.
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul.
I never ever have to be afraid.
This one thing remains.
Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on my.
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God’s love does not fail. I am held securely by His hand and no life circumstance can change that. He will pursue me and draw me to Himself and provide all the faith I need for every circumstance. I don’t have to do a thing.
His perfect love casts out all my fears and puts the lies to death.<—Click to Tweet!
How have you dealt with fears and lies in the past?
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