When God Speaks Softly {A Guest Post}

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motherhoodbuttonI’m happy to welcome Rachel as a guest poster for the When Motherhood Comes Softly series. You can read more by her at her blog This Journey Our Life. You can read more from this series by clicking the button to the left. We hope you are encouraged as you read about other woman as they struggle to grow into the role of mother by trusting in God day by day. If you would like to submit a post for this series, please read the introduction to this series and guest post submission guidelines. I look forward to reading your story!

A smile spread across my face as I felt the flutter of my baby’s movements, thankful the all-day-long-sickness was now behind me.

I daydreamed of the day in October I would hold my baby in my arms and tried to picture the tiny life growing inside my womb.

Are you a girl…or a boy? I wondered quietly, doubting my decision to wait until I gave birth to find out.

Five more months seemed like an eternity to wait to meet the precious little one snuggled comfortably within, but according to the advice I had received from others who’d been down this road a time or two, the special day would arrive before I could blink.

And it did.

Eighteen weeks into my first pregnancy found me flat on my back in a hospital bed.  I had gone into preterm labor and the only solution was complete hospital bed rest to hold off labor for as long as possible.

And for a few weeks longer it did.

At only five months pregnant, my water broke.

I was whisked off to emergency surgery. The operating room was a whirl wind of chaos as a team of doctors flurried to deliver a baby who would be unable to take a first breath on its own.

Fearful and waiting, I lay there on the operating table.

Alone.

Then a doctor leaned in close, and spoke softly.

“Do you believe in God?” he asked.

“Yes—I-I’m a believer!” I answered.

He nodded quietly before speaking again.

“Then we will ask the Lord to help your baby.” he stated confidently.

The surrounding noise faded into the background, drowned out by the miracle of that moment. The words of the kind neonatologist whispered a promise of hope and comfort in one of my darkest hours, calming my heart amidst the chaos.

Moments later my baby was delivered.

It was a girl.

Happiness and grief waged a war within my heart, when I first gazed upon her 1lb. 2oz. fragile body lying in the incubator.

I wept as the intense emotions tore my heart in two.

I grieved over my shattered dreams of the joyous birth of my first child, yet I celebrated the beautiful life lying there and the gift she was to me.

I was a mother.

Her mother.

After embarking on this journey of motherhood eight years ago, the road has taken twists and turns over difficult terrain, leading me along a path different from one that I’d imagined, but one that God has mapped out specifically for me.

There are days that I question my ability as her mother—the mother of a child with special needs. The inward struggle of inadequacy torments my heart more than I care to admit, and the chaos of doubts and uncertainty spin uncontrollably around me.

I feel alone.

But then the Lord speaks to me in my moment of helplessness, His soft whisper drowning out the surrounding noise.

Do you believe in me? He asks.

“Yes, Lord—You know I do!”

Then trust that I AM able to help you help your daughter.

He speaks softly, offering me hope and confidence that the One Who has called me to be a mother will also enable me to do it, calming my heart amidst the chaos.

Rachel is a child of God, wife, and stay-at-home mom of three, the oldest of whom has special needs (resulting from her premature birth). You can follow along shareslog This Journey Our Life her personal journey of parenting a special needs child at her blog This Journey Our Life, and connect with her @JourneyLifeRach on Twitter and Facebook.

 

 

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Comments

  1. This is such a precious story, thank you for sharing. You are blessed, and I have no doubt, that you are an outstanding mother!

  2. What a wonderful story you have to share with your daughter. What a blessing. You sound like a great mom.

  3. I like how you stated, the One who called you to be a mother will enable you to be one. It reminds me of a saying I heard, God won’t ask us to do anything He won’t give us the ability to do. Keep trusting Him! :)

  4. What a gift that doctor gave to you–speaking words of life into your fear. Thank you for sharing your story here in this space–letting God use it for his glory. Beautiful.

  5. That is a miraculous story….God encouraging with a soft voice. Thank you for your soft voice of strength and courage.

  6. Rachel, I love that photo of the two of you. Thanks for sharing more of your story. The more I learn the more amazing it is! Wonderful, friend.

  7. Rachel, thank you for sharing here today! Your story brought tears to my eyes as I heard your doctor whisper words of faith and then again, our loving God’s whisper as if “drowning out the surrounding noise.” Though I don’t have special needs children, I relate to the hardships. And hearing the voice of a good God strikes confidence as He promises to carry us through all of our trials. My prayers are with you and your precious little one today!

  8. Thankful that I clicked on this link in Multitudes on Mondays (and I do visit New Life Steward blog often!) – what a touching life story. And what wise, caring words spoken by the doctor … “Then we will ask the Lord to help your baby.” Thinking of you today, Rachel, as you care for your precious daughter, and praying for strength and insight for you – and thankful that you (and all of us as mothers) can rely on Him for all that we need.

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